The practice
Every week, spend up to $5* on a small gift for someone. It could be a card, a single flower, a cookie, some tomatoes from your garden, a bag of new autumn apples...
The gift doesn't have to be a reward or a thankyou, and it doesn't have to be given as charity to someone poorer than you. It's a little bit of grace that you give to someone else, as a no-strings-attached, total surprise, just to give them the pleasure of it.

The theory
Many of us are worried about money, especially if we're living in the Bay Area, where rents are astronomic, gas is the most expensive in the US, and a pay cheque seems pretty darn raggedy by the time you've shelled out for all the necessaries. If your parents grew up poor, it's even worse: attitudes to money are said to be passed down through three generations, so if your parents and grandparents lived through the Second World War, the Great Depression, the India/Pakistan partition, the immense loss of immigration, or the rupture of being refugees,  then it's likely you've inherited a bottomless concern that the money might run out.
If you're in this camp, try this paradoxical practice for two months, and see what happens.

The results
People who try this practice say it gives them more pleasure than they had expected, to experience their own generosity. And, somehow, it makes them feel richer than they did before. Try it for two months and see what happens for you.

*If you earn significantly less than the average, you can downscale this to $1 or $2 and still do it.

The practice
A 'bucket list' is a list of things you want to do before you die. The idea is not too wait till it's too late. Make a list now, and then start taking steps to do the things on it. Don't forget the small things, and don't edit out the big ones by telling yourself they're impossible.

Some questions to help:
- What do you dream of doing?
- What are you jealous of other people for?
- What makes you happy?
- What do your happiest memories have in common, and how can you have more of those kinds of experiences?
- What would you like more (or less) of, in your life?

The theory
Firstly, it's all too easy in a busy life to put the fun things off till later--and then never get around to them. A list of your heart's desires can help you to make sure you're prioritising--or taking steps towards prioritising--stuff that you enjoy, rather than leaving the things that call to you to one side.

But there's a deeper side to this too. As Gregg Levov points out in his book 'CALLINGS: Finding and Following an Authentic Life', our true calling makes itself known to us via the things we long for. Only by following the small calls of our heart can we find our true selves.

The results
For the small print on how doing this can restore your soul and re-energize your life, read or watch 'Eat, Pray, Love'!

The practice
What do you do when you finish a task? Do you get started on to the next one straight away? Or do you pause for a second to tell yourself, "Great. I just did that. That's a good job well done."

This week, try the second strategy: Washed the dishes? Well done. Pause for a second and appreciate them looking clean. Finished the spreadsheet? Fabulous. Pause for a second, breathe and give yourself credit.

The theory
Workplaces have become more stressed as downsizing has squeezed workforces over the last few years. Many of us--whether we're at work or not--have to rush from one project to another, multi-tasking to get everything done. We receive little or no praise for our work, and we take precious little time out. The result is chronic stress.

Pausing for a few seconds to appreciate your own work is not only a little rest, and a chance to assimilate the fact that something is finished, but it will gradually shift your focus from the endless list of things that haven't been done yet, to the fact that you're accomplishing things all the time. This builds a sense of mastery and satisfaction, rather than anxiety and stress.

The results
This experiment may sound like a waste of scarce and valuable time, when you have a To-Do list as long as your arm. But it makes a huge difference to your sense of yourself and your motivation to cultivate a self-praise habit over the long term.

The practice
The average American is chronically sleep deprived. Mostly because there is so much pressure on us from work, family, and everything else that we have to cut back somewhere, and apparently we’re cutting back on sleep. Of course, if you’re a new parent, you don’t have much choice about it—you’ll be short on sleep for a while.

But we do better when we can rest. So next time you’re tired, try to take a few minutes to lie down, close your eyes and relax. Set an alarm for 10, 15 or 20 minutes, and see what happens. Even a micro nap can make a difference. Just that little act of letting go and stopping can replenish us.

The theory
Some studies suggest regular napping reduces your chance of getting heart disease—presumably because a short rest reduces your stress. Or possibly because the ability to take a nap means you’ve somehow managed to get yourself the kind of life that enables you to take a break in the afternoon, and that this whole life is less stressed than the average.

Either way, a nap is worth it. A short rest can replenish you and calm you short term, and reduce the stress load in your system if you adopt napping when you need to as a practice long term. Meditation teacher Jack Kornfield likes to say, when teaching meditation, “If you find yourself getting sleepy during meditation, you know what that means?” Everyone leans forward earnestly, waiting for a pearl of deep wisdom. So he gives it to them. “It means…..you’re tired.”

The result
Jack Kornfield’s words are indeed a pearl of wisdom. If you’re sleepy, then you need sleep. Or at least a pause. A break. We used to take cigarette breaks in the old days. A micro nap takes about the same time, and is healthier.

And, if you’re reading this while thinking, "Yeah yeah, when am I going to fit a nap into my busy day?", then I offer you this: If your life has become such that you can’t pause and relax for ten minutes when you need to, then that’s not a quality life, and you may need to think seriously about making some changes.

The practice
Many of us have a hard time saying no, especially to people who are asking for help. For some of us, “no” is culturally unacceptable. So we say yes and resent it. This week, when you don’t want to do something, try saying no and see how it makes you feel. What stops you? How do you feel about yourself when you don’t say no? How do you feel when you do?

The theory
When you can’t say no, you end up resentful and grudging. Or exhausted. This practice is about finding balance between our own needs and everyone else’s.

You don’t have to be unpleasant about it. Try these various degrees of softening:
“Tonight I can’t. I have things I need to take care of.”
“It’s so nice of you to ask, but I don’t really feel like going out tonight.”
“I’m sorry, but no.”
“You know, that’s not really my thing.”

The result
When you can say no when you need to, you can say yes with more authenticity. Other people start to trust you more, because they know that when you say yes, you mean it. And you start to craft a life that better suits what you really want, and who you really are.

_The practice
For a set period of time (for example, a month), practice saying yes to all invitations that come your way. (Unless of course an invitation is dangerous, seriously disruptive, or involves something that goes against your values.)
For example:
A. “Would you like to come hiking with us on Saturday?”
You think: But it might rain, I could get cold, I’d have to get up early….
You say: “Yes!”

B. “Can you help me move on Sunday?”
You think: Drat, I hate moving. I wanted to go to a matinee.
You say: “Yes!”

C. “I have a spare ticket to the opera. Would you like it?”
You think: I’ve never been to the opera, will there be easy parking, will I get bored?
You say: “Yes!”

The theory
Saying yes as a policy* gets you out of your rut fast. It expands your comfort zone and forces you to explore new things. In the process you can find that your life becomes richer, you meet new people, you discover new things you like (and some you don’t). It’s a great policy to implement any time you start feeling lonely, cut-off, bored, or in a routine that’s starting to make life feel like work.

(*Use your own judgment though. If you feel an invitation is dangerous, seriously disruptive, or involves something that goes against your values, then say no!)

The result
Here’s how it can work: Your colleague Jane asks if you can help her move house on Saturday. While helping her move, you meet her friends Sasha and Pete. Sasha invites you to a crochet circle at her house on Thursday. You, at a crochet circle? But you go anyway, and there you meet her elderly aunt, who has an in-law unit to rent in an area you like. You go to see it, and decide to rent it—wow, you found a new place. There’s a flyer in the mailbox too, for a new café opening that night. So you go, hoping to have fun and meet people in your new area, but the band is dreadful and the only person you talk to is the barrista. Too bad, you think. Ten days later Pete invites you to a barbeque at his place. You’re nervous to go because you don’t know anyone else who’s going, but you say yes anyway, and when you walk in, there’s the barrista, who introduces you to his friends…and so on.

For a film inspiration, watch “Yes Man”.

_The practice
Find a way to do some gardening. Whether it's re-potting your house plants into good new compost, or planting a row of pole-beans alongside your house or on your balcony, gardening is good therapy. You don't have to do anything complicated. Hanging out with plants, enjoying their progress from sprout to leaf to flower to fruit, is satisfying and calming in itself. But actually, it turns out having your hands in the soil is extra good against depression.

The theory
I have always said that I feel better when I can garden, on however modest a scale, but it was only today that I discovered new scientific research that indicates why. The bacterium mycobacterium vaccae, present in soil, apparently increases serotonin in the brain. Serotonin is a neurochemical that seems to be linked to depression--if you don't have enough of it. Mycobacterium vaccae also encourages growth of serotonin receptor cells, which means that it makes it easier for your brain to be positively affected by serotonin, too.

The result
Obviously the scientific data is more complex than I'm making it sound. But the bottom line remains the same--getting your hands in some soil is scientifically proven to be very likely to make you feel better.

I found this article summarising some research into the habits of happy people, conducted by positivity psychologist Sonja Lyubomirsky. Apparently, happy people tend to do the following twelve things daily:
    1.    Express gratitude
    2.    Cultivate optimism
    3.    Avoid over-thinking and social comparison
    4.    Practice acts of kindness
    5.    Nurture social relationships
    6.    Develop strategies for coping
    7.    Learn to forgive
    8.    Increase flow experiences
    9.    Savor life’s joys
    10.    Commit to your goals
    11.    Practice spirituality
    12.    Take care of your body.

I notice that some of these are relational, and some are about appreciating and nurturing the self--body, mind and soul. Click here to read the full article, which has a paragraph on each happy habit.

The practice
Are you caught in a Procrastination Vortex? It goes like this:
- You have a lot of important things to do.
- When you look at your Important Things To Do list, you feel so overwhelmed by everything on it that you don't do any of them.
- You go to bed feeling guilty and anxious, swearing you'll do the things tomorrow.
- Next day the same thing happens, only now several more things have added themselves to the list, which is now even more overwhelming...

Here's the way out of the Vortex: DO ONE THING A DAY.

The theory
If you do one thing a day off your Important Things To Do list, you will get a lot more done than if you set yourself the task of doing ten things, and do none of them. One thing a day adds up, especially if you prioritize, so that the one thing you do is the most important thing on the list.

The result
Try it. You get a lot done this way, you make steady progress, and you feel relief rather than the anxiety, guilt and stress caused by procrastination.

And here's an extra bonus: the satisfaction and relief that result from getting an important thing done every day make it more likely that you'll also accomplish a couple of other small tasks, just because you're on a roll. But don't forget to congratulate yourself and take a few minutes off to relish ticking that important task off your list.