The practice
We get used to getting by, surviving, coping. If life gets busy enough and we get stressed enough, we can find that we've forgotten how to enjoy our days. What a shame!
But there's a way to stop just surviving and start really thriving: it starts with noticing and taking in tiny instants of enjoyment. Every time you pause to take in a sensation of pleasure, you strengthen the neural networks that enable you to feel more pleasure. Doesn't that sound like a good habit to cultivate?
Try it when you're taking your morning shower--really enjoy the hot water, and the scent of the soap. Try it when you're sipping your morning coffee, or next time a shaft of sunlight falls through the window and warms your shoulder. Breathe in the warm scent of the coffee. Feel the feeling of that warmth on your skin. Practise it when your beloved calls you at work, or when your kid says, "I love you Mommy", or "Daddy, you're the best Dad in the world". Savour the moment. Really. Savour it.
The theory
Mindfulness psychologist Linda Graham teaches that pausing for 30 seconds to really feel the enjoyment is all it takes to strengthen those synaptic connections of pleasure. And every time you do that, your neural network of pleasure gets stronger, setting you up for greater ease at noticing and enjoying more pleasure.
If this sounds trivial, consider that trauma therapists encourage orientation to pleasure as the antidote to trauma. One of the first things we do is called resourcing--helping people to find ways to self-soothe and relax. Feeling relaxed pleasure lowers your cortisol. Sharing loving connection such as a hug causes you to secrete the calming bonding hormone oxytocin. Enjoying pleasure helps to reset your brain's chemistry from stressed and traumatised to soothed.
The results
Moments of pleasure may be small, but they're no small beans. They're what life is made up of. Practise taking them in often enough and you really will change your mind and your life. Try it for a week--or a month--and see what happens.
We get used to getting by, surviving, coping. If life gets busy enough and we get stressed enough, we can find that we've forgotten how to enjoy our days. What a shame!
But there's a way to stop just surviving and start really thriving: it starts with noticing and taking in tiny instants of enjoyment. Every time you pause to take in a sensation of pleasure, you strengthen the neural networks that enable you to feel more pleasure. Doesn't that sound like a good habit to cultivate?
Try it when you're taking your morning shower--really enjoy the hot water, and the scent of the soap. Try it when you're sipping your morning coffee, or next time a shaft of sunlight falls through the window and warms your shoulder. Breathe in the warm scent of the coffee. Feel the feeling of that warmth on your skin. Practise it when your beloved calls you at work, or when your kid says, "I love you Mommy", or "Daddy, you're the best Dad in the world". Savour the moment. Really. Savour it.
The theory
Mindfulness psychologist Linda Graham teaches that pausing for 30 seconds to really feel the enjoyment is all it takes to strengthen those synaptic connections of pleasure. And every time you do that, your neural network of pleasure gets stronger, setting you up for greater ease at noticing and enjoying more pleasure.
If this sounds trivial, consider that trauma therapists encourage orientation to pleasure as the antidote to trauma. One of the first things we do is called resourcing--helping people to find ways to self-soothe and relax. Feeling relaxed pleasure lowers your cortisol. Sharing loving connection such as a hug causes you to secrete the calming bonding hormone oxytocin. Enjoying pleasure helps to reset your brain's chemistry from stressed and traumatised to soothed.
The results
Moments of pleasure may be small, but they're no small beans. They're what life is made up of. Practise taking them in often enough and you really will change your mind and your life. Try it for a week--or a month--and see what happens.
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